Well here I sit. 38 weeks and 4 days pregant. At the exact point that I gave birth to Dude...Knowing I went three more days before having Nugget. People have been surprised at every event I have showed up at this week. Preschool. Gymnastics. ECFE. "You're still pregnant?" they ask. And I say, "Yes, yes I am." (Really, the belly gives it away.) I am emotional today. Could cry at the drop of a hat. Tearing up while writing this, for no apparent reason. My body is done. My mind is done. This pregnancy has been very uncomplicated, yet has taken the most toll on my body. I am tired. Extremely. I have gained the most weight of all my pregnancies. Every part of my body aches. I pee a gazillion times an hour. I am crabby. My kids are demanding. I am ready to meet baby.
All this at the same time that I am looking forward to giving birth. When will it happen? Will my water break? Will contractions start at home or will I have to be induced? How much time will I have to get to the hospital? Who will watch my kids? Oh dear God, who will watch my kids? Hoping it all works out. Hoping I will be aware and soak in every magical moment of bringing another human being into this world.
Nick asked me this morning "How did you sleep?" "Not good" I said. Worried about it all, mostly that my kids will be cared for and Nick can spend as much time with us in the hospital as possible. But then his words comfort me. "Two and half days in the hospital, then back home to the five of us." Our own little pirate ship. Sailing along in this crazy world, but we have each other. And we're tough as nails. I have him. Thank God, I have him.
So here I am. I will wait. Because that's my only choice. I will practice patience because I have to, not because I want to.
We are ready for you baby. You are welcome anytime. xo